The Sex Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be great also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to have sex you can look here with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in my company powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

However when issues emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in city areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Numerous gay men desire to discover from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not look these up there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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