The Sensuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to extremely hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, nearness, love, and well-being .

However when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that numerous of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in cities, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, many gay males want to find out he said from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' browse around here thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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